Key West trip recap (finally finished it!)

So Shall I recap the trip? You know you want me too! It was chock full of wonderful Nanny moments... and one for Linda too!

1:As You all can see from the lovely picture on St Patrick's Day Nanny decided to have a drink at 10 am at the Chili's in the Fort Lauderdale Airport. Yes this is quite amusing but how she got the big fun drink was funnier. Since the first thing my family looks at on a menu is the drink section of course this is where we started... However this menu only had the "fun" drinks on the back along with what Chili's likes to call sidekicks. Which Nanny thought was an actual drink and ordered a sidekick of Grand Marnier. (no clue how to spell it) Well Kerry and I had to explain that it was a shot and not a drink. So this led to her getting the shot AND the big fun drink. Where upon she drank a few sips and then declared...

" mmmm... This is good...."

and proceeded to dump the grand marnier shot into it. Mind you this is after she took one of her anxiety pills for flying!


2: Key West Family!!! Always a good time especially since they rag on us like they just saw us yesterday.... "Hey Kerry didn't you go skinny dipping with your cousin?' and "hey Kelly did you pass by the Navy Base?" Glad I am here to amuse you guys... If you keep reading this blog you will get much more stuff to rag on me for!

We head back to our hotel where we proceed to get a cooler and drink poolside even though it says not too and there are two children under 15 months old there. So we are all chit chatting and drinking and swimming (because they always mix) and we have been ragging on Nanny and Tom, (background for all who don't know. Tom is my grandfathers sisters husband, Tracey and Shawn's dad, not KW Shawn, and well since Shawn and Janice's wedding they have had a little flirtation and we have pics to prove it!) SO I need to go back to the room where Uncle Tom and Nanny are "watching" JP and knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. No answer. I can't hear anything so I pound on the door (which JP's room is next too) and still no answer. Well after about 5 minutes but it seemed SOOOO much longer. Nanny finally answers the door and says

" I thought I heard someone knocking."

Hmm.... what were Nanny and Uncle Tom REALLY up to? We'll never know because they both declared that they talked about them being companions and they will never do it. However they will still kiss for the cameras just to get a rise out of us!


3. After a fun day of grilling and sitting in the sun and playing cards at Tracey and Shawn's and thanking god I was not preggers or had a child so that I can still be the irresponsible twenty-eight year old I am, Linda decides she wants to go Downtown. Let it be known that it wasn't me who decided this! So I ask her if she is sure and she says Yes. So we head downtown and go to Sloppy Joe's , cant' come to Key West and not go there. Nothing special about it but it seems to be a tradition now. So I get a beer and Linda gets a Virgin daiquiri. Fun times. We listen to the band and watch the poor white trash families with the fat mom in a bikini and her kids watching her have her 4th drink.. "You have a Baby. In a bar."
Anyway, after a beer we head to Irish Kevins because its just fun. Think Jimmy PlunkettKey West style with a little less 80's music and yelling at people on the street. Good Times. Now we get in there and Linda and I are having a blast and I am thinking that the dirty song this guy is having the girl sing is SO wrong to be listening to with your Mom. So we get a table and have another round and that's when Linda notices the Shot girl. Linda watches "shot girl" walk around a few times and then we proceed to have this convo.

Linda: "What are those"
Me: "test tube shots"
Linda: "Oh. What's in them?"
Me: "No clue"
(I ask shot girl and then tell Linda)
Linda: "Sounds good. You should have one"
Me: "That's okay I am all set."
Linda: "How much are they."
(I ask Shot girl)
Me: "$2"
Linda: (sliding $2 my way) " Have one"
Me: "Are you trying to live vicariously through me?"
Linda: laughs
I take the money and do the shot. Linda looks at the test tube takes it and then proceeds to lick the rim of the test tube.

4. JP had fun and didn't stop moving.

5. Did I mention JP was there.

6. Oh and Caroline was there too.

Not that anyone cares about the last 3 but I think it is funny because we have about 50 pictures of JP and like 4 of everyone else.

Nanny on St. Patrick's Day

Here's a picture Kelly sent me from Key West at 10:30am...gotta love Nanny

Random Thought

Okay..so I was reading bricks today about how Nick ran into Adam Levine..and I started thinkgin...
Okay, so you believe that you shouldn't have sex until your married. You wait, get married, have sex (i would hope) then get divorced. Do you then keep your beliefs and don't have sex again unitl you're married..or are all bets off???

Failed Already

hmm..can lent start next week? I've already failed miserably at this. I am a failer..not a failure..but I am one that fails at certain things..not like a full blown failure..cuz i'm good at some stuff. Apparantly..making "resolutions" and sticking to them is not one of my strong points..Perhaps I'll change it to "i will not GET drunk during the week" yah..that's more realistic ;)

Giving it Up for Lent

The genius that I am has decided to give up drinking during the week. I know..that seems like common sense to most people..but not to me..or Kelly (sorry to throw you under the bus lady!). So there, that's what I'm giving up for lent. I have decided this because I have a small wine hangover and lets all face it-it SUCKS feeling like this at work. I don't want to do work, I want to stare at my cubicle walls and sleep with my eyes open. And for the life of me I can not get that new Shakira song out of my head "i'm on tonight my hips don't lie and it starts to feel right" seriously, as I typed that I was chair dancing. Nice.. can't work, but can function well enough to dance in my chair to the Shakira song in my head...sweet. Shakira Shakira! Okay..I'll stop now :)
Moving on.....OMG I can't..now I'm whiteling the song..WTF...Shakira has been embedded in my head...and I can't find the song ANYWHERE to listen to it. Oh, actually, its on her website...more fun whisteling and chair dancing.

AMENDEMENT TO MY LENT THING: I will not drink during the week, unless I'm on a date or something..you need drinks for those..plus i don't want to look like a lame

I feel like i'm in florida

okay..well..maybe not florida..but WTF!
I had my laptop at home this AM so I had to keep reminding myslef "don't forget the laptop, don't forget the laptop" Cuz really, it would totally suck if i dragged my ass to work only to realize that the thing i need to do my work..is at home..and this happened to my cube mate so i know it could actually have happened.
so..yah me! i didn't forget my lapt top, however, i did forget my lunch which meant i had to drop $6 on a healthy lunch of chicken fingers, o-rings, and a coca cola zero. But more importantly..i forgot my shoes. yes, my shoes. I always wear my uggs..cuz they are warm and way easier to drive in..then bring shoes with me to work. Nope, not today. And normally, this would not be an issue as my cube..is more of an ice cubicle then anything else. Seriously..its frigid in my office..but oh no, not today. I'm sitting here sweating my ass off like a woman in a snowsuit stuck in a sauna..ARGH!!!

While Nanny is on break..welcome P. Daddy

So..last night after dinner I'm helping the parents clean up and I notice how cute my mom's jeans are.

Me: Mom, are those new jeans
Mom: No, I don't think so
Me: Oh, they're really cute
P. Daddy: I think I have on my guess jeans
Me: Yes, you do..I can see the question mark on your ass
P. Daddy: There's no question about this ass
Mom: Is that how you talk to your daughter?
P. Daddy: Yah..cuz she's my baby bitch

Later on that night when I call my mom...

Mom: That's so funny you called, I was just thinking about you
Me: You were? What were you thinking
Mom: Just about how funny you are


Awesome :)

Chronicles of Nanny will be on hiatus.

Just wanted to let everyone know especially Candice and Amy, that conversations with Nanny or Chronicles of Nanny will be on hiatus while she is in Aruba. It is sad I know. However don't fret I am sure there will be many exciting conversations to blog about upon her return(i.e. what young-in she met on the Kukoo Kunuko this time). Also don't forget Red Sox season will be starting and well that always prompts some entertaining convos!

Chronicles of Nanny

Talking on the phone with my aunt in front of my grandmother last night and we were discussing how nanny has switched her drink of choice at home from whiskey to martini's. When nanny says:

"I am the martini mama"

Gotta love her.

Seriously it looks like they found her in a bar and drugged her to get her to take the picture. Do guys like the drugged look? Is that where I am going wrong? I"m not taking drugs?

I'm Starting a Club

First off...my concert curse of 2004 has been broken. For those of you that know me..in 2004 99% of the concerts I purchased tickets to were cancelled (thanks britney, christina, and jessica). Well..2005 I did pretty well and 2006 is off to a rockin start. I will continue my concert list, but first must add some that I forgot on my original list
-The Party-yes that's right, the MMC group. The first time I saw them was in the rain outside and we had just had a tipping lesson at sailing
-Perfect Circle-note to self..do not try to make up for missing your pill (thanks to the snowstorm that had me stuck in miami for 4 extra days) by taking 4 at once. They will make you almost pass out during a concert and the mean security people may not let you outside to enjoy the fridgid february air (thanks to the one guy that did finally let me out).
Coldplay-can't believe i forgot this one..actually its more of a miracle that i remember it. do not get absolutely shitfaced before the show-it will result in you crying throughout the show (thanks to the girl who handed me tissues) because every song reminds you of your boyfriend who just left you last week.
Aerosmith
Kid Rock- I wanna dance in a cage!
Run DMC-who's house? run's house
Pussycat Dolls w/ Willa Ford-me and candice were the only ones who wanted to see them..and they were 2 hours late!
Okay..I'm pretty sure that's it.
Oh wait! Did i mention Celine?? good times!
So..here's my list for 2006:
Rascal flatts
Billy Joel
Billy Currington (YUMMY)
Brad Paisley
Now, on to my club. I have two lovely friends that I attend my fun country shows with. (we country folks gat to stick together) In 2 months we've gone to 3 shows, so I've decided we will have a country music tour club, and we will make t-shirts that on the front say country tour 2006, and on the back each time we see a show we'll write it on there with a sharpie. and we have to get cowboy hats..such a must at this point, and we'll have meetings to discuss upcoming events AND we're gonna have a fundraiser so that next year we can hire a driver to take us to all the shows cuz for some reason no country people ever come near boston. I've had to go to NH and Connecticut almost every time!

To further discuss my most recent even in NH..bars there are funny.
We went to this bar/club/restaruant afterwards, and neither I nor Joe remember the name..but it was something WB. SOOOOOOO funny. The people that worked there were acting as if they were working on landsdowne street. And there was this girl..flipping her hair like i've never seen anyone flip..doing that cute flirty lean on one leg more than the other, and laughing way to hard. basically trying tooo hard to get this guys attention..but the guy was so OBVIOUSLY gay. They played only music that came before 1995 and had the videos to go along with it. High point..they have this thing called goddess night, and if you sign up you get a bracelet and all your drinks and apps are half off. me and kara didn't sign up cuz really, how often will i be going to manchester, but our fun waitress gave us our drinks half off anyway! good stuff

Reasons I could not have a hometown date if I was on the Bachelor.

I think I am the only one who still watches the Bachelor but i cna't help it. It is so entertaining to watch the girls get jealous of each other and fall head over heals for a guy they just met and has to lead them on for the sake of the show. And really when you have the first episode start of with a woman who is an OB/GYN say that her eggs are rotting and that she would like to reproduce soon to the bachelor. Well thats just good tv. Well over the past few seasons Nanny and I have watched and I have come to the conclusion that if I was on the bachelor and made it to the hometown dates episode(which most likely would NEVER happen) THe Bachelor and/or ABC could never come to my house. However, that being said if any of the Bachelors met Nanny and my family and were the funloving type then I would be a shoo-in to win.

Okay so now for my reasons why the Bachelor/ABC could never do a Hometown Date with me:

1. Who would cook? My family isn't known for its cooking. I am sure Nanny could do it but really either the Bachelor would have to or ABC would have to have it catered. Unless we decided to go all out and fire-up the BBQ.

2. The visit would have to take place when the planets aline or all of the following happen:
Linda doesn't go to Bob's
Bob comes over for dinner
Bob says something... to anyone
The Red Sox arent' playing
Dancing with the Stars isn't on
Boston Legal isn't on
My mother isn't away on vacation
Nanny isn't on Vacation
Any reality TV show isn't on
My sister finds someone to watch the children

3. Someone cleans my house. Nanny does her best but well she doesn't enjoy doing it. Not that I help at all. i guess I could for this.

4. The Bachelor and cre would have to wear ear plugs because we are not the quietest family

5: we would have to lock my neighbors house from the outside so that he wouldnt' come over and be nosey( sorry Bobby)

6. I would have to sit through embarrassing story after embarrassing story of what a naive child and teen I was and then he would have to sit and look at all the pictures from my "awkward 20 years"

7. The poor guy would really see what a women dominated house is really like.

8. I would have to lock my room and pretend that I live with Amy.

9. Where would we go for the "alone" time before and after? Playstead park? THe Fells reservation, VIctory?
Would the Bachelor stay at the Amerisuites?

Thats all I can think of for now. Feel free to tell me more.

However if the Bachelor and ABC did come to my house they would probably sign nanny up for her own reality tv show or alert E! that they could have a new entertainment reporter.

Fish is not doing well!!!

ok i have a jd update:

i'm predicting he only has 3-4 days to live.
he's swimming better, but his pretty fins are shriveling up and his scales are starting to shed.
i think he's giving up- this morning i looked in his bowl and couldn't find him, only to realize he had buried himself under his rocks and was motionless at the bottom of the bowl :(

Bases & Engagements..the rules have changed

Okay..so when did the bases change? Back in the day first base was kissing..second was some boob action, thrid involved privates, and fourth was all the way...when did first become the boob touching? and what the hell is third then? did i always have the bases messed up? being a girl, we really didn't nor do we actually refer to the bases when discussing our endevours..we use actually words and descriptions, so i'm not really sure what the kids are calling things these days..but i'm confused. okay..moving on..i had this great epiphany on the way to work today while i was listening to the radio talk about how sheryl crow and lance armstrong called off their engagemneng. so in the real world, people date..perhaps they fall in love, get engaged and get married..in hollywood, people meet, date for a day or two, get engaged and that is their relationship. this is why so many celebrity engagements are called off..they are confused. they've confused the whole actual relationship thing with wearing a pretty ring and prancing around with designers picking out chiffon or satin and choosing tiffany placesettings. while that seems like a great time..and i hope one day i too get to prance and show off shiny things..they are missing the whole point of getting engaged...its that you're in a relationship and in love...not that its the cool thing today..oh..oh..they have engagementships instead of relationships..hee hee!
now if you'll excuse me..i need to find a 13 year old to explain this base thing and then i need to pack up and leave for hollywood ( i need to find myself a man to have an engagementship with ..i found this really cute kate spade placesetting!)

Conversations with Nanny....

I should just make this a reocurring post on here...

So Super Sunday Nanny and I are sitting home watching the game together. Neither of us really caring about the game except the score so we can tell if we won any money. While watching the game for the commercials we have numerous conversations... that went a little like this:

Nanny: Who is playing?
Me: The Steelers and the Seahawks.
Nanny: Isn't Seattle playing?
Me: Yes.. they are the Seahawks.

Nanny: Hassleback.. Thats Elizabeth from the Views brother in law. Do you think she is there?
Me: I don't know she could be.

Nanny: Who is who?
Me: THe Steelers are in the white and yellow and the Seahawks are in the Blue.
Nanny: Oh good now I can figure out the squares.

Nanny: Who is the favorite?
Me: I am not sure. I heard they were pretty evenly matched.

Nanny: Who is the favorite?
Me: Didn't we just have this conversation?
Nanny: oh.

Me: Who do you want to win?
Nanny: The blue people.
Me: You meant the Seahawks?
Nanny: Yeah, the blue people.

Nanny: What number SuperBowl is this?
Me: No clue.
Nanny: why do they have to use roman numerals?
Me: I dont know.
Nanny: What does XL stand for?
Me: I thought X was 10.
Nanny: So what does the L stand for?
Me: I have no idea.
(after looking in the paper to find Superbowl XL all over the place and wondering if the columnists knew what it stood for they finally said it on TV (40) and nanny and I could rest easier)

fish update (for those of you who were concerned)

as per an email this morning from my sister:

I think JD is going to be ok.
After performing extensive research on the internet, I decided to follow the advice of one fish owner who's own little pet suffered from swim bladder disease. One of the causes of swim bladder disease is constipation. It was recommended to keep the fish off food for 4 days. I also need to change his food from pellet to gel form. I'm on day 2 of not feeding, and he can now swim fairly upright… Now he seems to be struggling to get to the bottom of the bowl, but at least he can get to the surface for air.

Pictures to follow.

Hey Melissa..
I’m a little concerned about this line:
but at least he can get to the surface for air.
Is your fish a mammal?
Do you have a whale and not really a beta fish? Or is a dolphin? What kind of shop are they running over there???

hahahah
no, it is a fish... i meant that he needed to get to the surface cuz the water at the surface has more oxygen than the water at the bottom.. most fish tanks are aerated to make sure that there is the correct level of oxygen in the water for the fish to breathe, but for fish that live in bowls, like goldfish and bettas, they normally spend more time near the surface to get the extra oxygen:
"The surface of the water where it comes into contact with the atmosphere tends to hold a higher content of oxygen. Goldfish can survive in non-aerated aquariums because they spend most of their time at the surface"

well then...

Release Casino

Release Casino is a term used at shows when the let the first few rows jump up and scream and act like idiots directly in front of the stage. How do I know this? Well…let’s start at the very beginning.
For x-mas, my parents, not knowing both got each other tickets to Billy Joel in January. Since they weren’t going to go to two shows, they picked the better night (Saturday) and the better seats (lodge 12, row 12) and gave me the other seats (Monday night, balcony 206) for my b-day. My sister and I planned on going and were pumped for a fun sister bonding night, when she remembered that she had school. I was bummed, but luckily my sister from another mister (ahah) was willing and able to go. So on Monday night, miss Kelly and I trecked(aka took the T) into town in the cold. We got to the show at about 8pm. Billy was scheduled to perform fro 2.5 hours straight from 8pm on. We jumped in line for our miller lites when a scary man approached me. He was short..and kinda too muscley, and didn’t really have a neck..and had long strangly hair. Naturally I was cautious. “is it just you two” he said. ‘Um, yah” we reply “just you two no one else” I’m thinking..what does this guy want us to buy him beer or something..this is odd. He then goes on “do you have pretty shitty seats” I’m like.."ahh.there okay” he then says “how would you like to sit in the 2nd row?” and starts showing us all these yellow comp tickets. Me and Kelly are all “are you serious? What’s the catch, etc.” he basically says no catch, he’ll walk us down and all we need to do is give him our regular tickets. At this point it seems pretty legit as he is wearing a tour pass thingy and is freaking out because apparently he has a time quota to fill. So we run (yes with beers) down the stairs and all the way to the floor. He shows us to our seats (2nd row) and off he goes. Me and Kelly can not believe this is actually happening. I mean..I believe in kharma, and I haven’t done anything that good to deserve this. This stuff never happens to either one of us. It is usually reserved for our luckiest friend in the world Candice (perhaps the lucky vibes you were sending me for Mohegan worked last night). So, the show starts..we’re taking pictures having a blast..then we look to our right and see an older couple…the women who is pretty decent looking for her age has on tight white jeans (hello..its January) and a lacey top..the guy she is with is a total dork, but none the less she is all over him..and he is loving it, and she is touching herself, grabbing her boobs and they are groping and grinding, shes' giving him lap dances..at one point they were making out and he had his hand on her ass and going up and down her shirt...definately a show with in a show.
Okay..so back to the show. After goodnight Saigon the casino gets releses (that’s us lucky people in the firt two rows) and to the stage we go. There at the stage is of course the wonderful event staff that keeps us from crowd surfing and mosh pitting (hello…billy joel concert.) hanging out standing directly in front of me..but okey whatever. Show is totally kicking ass..dancing..screaming..usual concert tom fullery. Scary lace lady is dancing next to me, basically grinding on anything that moves, including mr. event staff and the poor chick next to him. but i digress...so then mr. guitar guy throws his pick..i catch it and then it bounces out of my hand. The girl next to me picks it up and I’m fully excpecting her to hand it to me as we are all adults at an adult show..its not like Justin Timberlake just threw his shirt into the crowd, but the bitch scoops it up and starts jumping up and down (whatever!) so to make up for my loss mr. event staff gives me the set list (score)..about 10 minutes after he gives me the set list, he asks for it back (okay then) and I can see him writing on it. He then gives it back to me and tells me not to lose it. Kelly and I are rocking out..totally ignoring our plan of leaving at 10 (it’s now like 10:30) and stay till the end.
So..show rocks, we decide to go grab a beer at the Harp. There I decided to check out my set list, where I learn fun terms such as “release casino” and on the back there is a little message “let’s go for a “bottle of red, bottle of white” jon 444-444-4444. that crafty little mr. event staff..you witty thing you..
So we finish our beers and treck (aka walk quickly) over to North Station..where the night gets even weirder. We walk down the steps to the train platform, and we can both see that someone is on the tracks. Yes..on the friggin tracks.. we get closer and as we do two gentelemen (you guys kick ass) have lifted her up on to the platform. I notice her purse is still on the tracks and am very concerned (what if it was a coachie?) when one of the guys jumps down and picks it up. This is craziness. The woman is on the platform crying, how much it hurts. Kelly has run upstairs to get someone, and the other woman there (holly-works at fleetcenter boxes 601-604..tell her she rocks) has gone to the emergency phone. The guys pick her up and sit her down..the lady is a mess. I mean you’d have to be to fall into the train tracks. So train security lady comes down and starts talking to her, and the woman keeps like going in and out of it..wierd..then the cops come and they take her off to see if she’s okay.
CRAZINESS….

Okay, so my sister is super funny...this is the email conversation we had today about her fish:
She is in red, and I am in purple..just cuz.

i'm gonna skip. :(

my fish is sick!!!!!!!

Why? Are you skipping cuz your fish is sick?

i am skipping cuz i feel stressed out right now :( i dunno if i could wait til later in the week to tell you, i would like that..

That is fine Don’t be stressed my little chick mcnugget..i heart you!

oh! thanhk you!! i heart you too! you should see my fish. the poor thing has whirling disease.. he has a gram positive bacterial infection of his swim bladder so he can't float regular, his head is always to the bottom of the bowl, and his tail is always pointing up. :(

How the heck did you figure out that he had a positive bacterial infection of his swim bladder? Did you take him to the vet? I want a picture!

my cubemate helped me (we were both pre-vet.) we found a website, and basically you use this chart to identify what kind of infection. my fish was swimming around in small circles and can't get to teh top of the bowl. so, i need to feed him peas and get him erythromycin. :( i'll send you a pic.

I sorry your fishy is sicky Thanks for the pic!

me too. i hope he is just bloated and needs a few days without food. i'll put him on south beach for fishies.

conversations you have with family that are weird...

Okay I can't believe I had this conversation with Nanny but I did. A little background on the conversation. Nanny and her friend Kay did their usual weekend movie and dinner thing this Sunday and were very excited to see Brokeback Mountain. When I arrived home that night I asked her how it was. She said she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. I was intrigued so I asked if she knew it was about gay cowboys and she said yes and that wasn't the part that bothered her. So I ask what did bother you about it? She answered some of the more graphic and gorey scenes. SHe went into more detail about the gorey part that I will leave out in case anyone is going to see the movie. Then we had this conversation that in hindsight should have been weird but it's Nanny and so it wasn't.

Nanny: "you know how gay men have sex?"

Me: "yes"

Nanny: "Well they show it in the movie"

ME: "is that what you didn't like about it?"

Nanny: "no."

pause....

Nanny: "Later he has sex with his wife and he turns her over and has sex with her the way he did with the guy.


Me: "ok."


Just another Day with nanny.

MySpace is Crack

It starts just as any addiction does. Okay, I'll try a little..all my friends are doing it so it can't be that bad. So, one day at work while you're bored out of your mind you do it..you get a myspace account. And that's it. You fill out a few things, maybe post a pic..then that's it...for a little while. Then you continue to be bored at work at start searching on myspace, and see all the fun things you can do to your page..oh look! i can have music? wow! where did they get those fun animated pictures? you are intrigued..maybe this is more fun than you thought. Then! Then! You find someone you know..maybe someone you haven't seen in years..maybe an ex-boyfriend that has moved to california..and now you are hooked. You email all your friends and ask them to join, because that's what friends do-get other friends addicted. you design your page..take survey, start posting comments..and now..now it is a full blown addiction. you need to log on many times each day to see who's online, who has left a comment, who else you can find..
god..whatever happened ot picking up the phone and actually talking to people? you got me..
okay..gotta go check my myspace :)